My Darling

Another song from Eminem’s 2009 “Relapse” is “My Darling.” In this track, Eminem is creatively facing his addiction issues. In this track, Eminem is in a conversation with Slim Shady/ his drug addiction, where his alter ego is trying to get Eminem to realize that he and his addiction, AKA Slim Shady, are the same. They can’t be separated.
    Slim Shady is trying to get Eminem to realize that he needs his addiction to be successful. I believe this is because drugs have been a subject of Eminem’s music since the beginning of his career, especially since the Slim Shady alter ego was created. Also, this song illustrates Eminem’s fear of creating music without the influence of drugs.

 In the chorus of the song, Eminem states:
“My darling, I don't ever want you to leave me, my darling
You and me were meant to be together, my darling
And if I cannot have you, no one can, you're my darling
‘Cause I possess your soul, your mind, your heart and your body
I don't ever want you to leave me, my darling
You and me were meant to be together, my darling
And if I cannot have you, no one can, you're my darling
‘Cause I possess your soul, your mind, your heart and your body”

​This is Shady reminding Eminem that the two egos are the same and they can’t be separated. When it comes to addiction, I believe this is very relatable. When we spend a lot of our time indulging in any kind of addiction, that habit and that addiction becomes part of our identity. In my porn addiction, I often didn’t know how to act or behave without my addiction. In the times when I would try to watch TV/movies or relax with any other hobby, my body would crave the images as well as the physical motions that come with porn and masturbation. It seemed that I could not live without my addiction. Even to this day, when I am watching TV or a movie, I need to have something to do with my hands that keeps me from scrolling on my phone, looking for pornographic material. I need to separate myself from my addiction.

Eminem continues;
“Ha-ha, you sold your soul to me, need I remind you?
You remember that night you
Prayed to God you'd give anything to get a record deal? Well, Dre signed you
This is what you wanted your whole life, Marshall, right? Ooh
Look at this house, look at these cars: they're so nice, woo!
Oh, but you didn't know fame has a price too?
That you just now seeing the downside to
Lose your best friend from high school, your wife too
Ain't even sure if your kids like you.”

This stanza holds a lot of details within it. It shows that even though Eminem wanted to be able to make a living with his music, he didn’t expect to lose so much in his personal life due to his musical career. According to this verse, he questions his relationship with his wife and his children regarding his musical career and subsequently his addiction.
    While I do not doubt that Eminem has always loved and cared for his family, I also wonder how his addiction affected his relationship with his family. This is also depicted in Eminem’s newest music video, “Somebody Save Me,” where he discussed this in more detail.
    In my experience, my addiction has isolated me from my wife at times because while I am spending time with her, I often find myself desiring any alone time to indulge in Porn. When I am relaxing with my wife, my mind is roaming, waiting for the time I could go to the internet.
    When I realized that this fog was clouding my couple’s time with my wife, I truly refocused my mind to be in the moment with my wife. When I realized that I was isolating myself for the sake of my addiction, I knew that I was tearing apart the relationship with my wife. This needed to be reconciled.
    While I am not fully recovered, I am more aware of my habits with the internet. Am I scrolling too much? Am I intentionally, or unintentionally, searching for material that I can indulge further in my addiction? Being aware of the habits that triggered my addictive personality, I can take further steps to repair my mind and my relationship with my family and friends.

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