The Allure

DISCLAIMER: The story you are about to read contains graphic violence and sexual situations. I pray that the reader would be able to look at the deeper meaning of the piece as it relates to Wrestling with Faith. Reader discretion is advised.

“Hey there, babe. Welcome to my Onlyfans page. My name is Valerie the Vixen, you will find the best content; everything from seductive nudes to cosplay of your favorite characters. I also love to play with myself and with my friends. Sometimes I even play with strangers. I promise you, baby, that this will be the best experience that you’ve had.”
    The room was dark, only illuminated by the computer screen. I sat in front of the computer, eyes glued to the images on the screen while I listened to the seductive voice through my headphones. Valerie was a voluptuous woman; her sandy brown hair hung delicately around her face; creating a cute frame. Valerie spoke to me, gently rubbing her full breasts, which rested in a green lace bra. As she squeezed the breasts, my attention was drawn to the sensual actions of this online goddess.
    I soon lost myself in her free content. I combed through her onlyfans.com content, and her other social media sites, collecting my favorite photos and videos; some of the content was fully nude, and others were only tantalizing enough to spark my interest. Her voice was often soft, yet passionate, and her body was warm and welcoming.
    After a long, hard day at work, I want to be at your service; How would you use me? Valerie the Vixen was pictured topless; her breasts firm and perky. She stood at the front door as if she were greeting her male visitor at the door. She was dressed in a pair of purple panties and black heels. I closed my eyes at the sight, envisioning that greeting in person. I imagined feeling her gentle fingertips caressing my chest and stomach. I could feel her fingernails gently impacting the skin beneath my shirt. I looked down and noticed that her nails were well-groomed and matched her purple panties. She always paid attention to the little details.
    “Come on, let’s get you undressed,” She whispered. Her light breath sent shivers down my spine as she led me into the house. I ran my hands up her arms and up to her exposed breasts. She liked a firm hand on her breasts. I could tell that she was becoming more excited. She knew I was as well.
​                                                                                          ***
    I opened my eyes, my webpage was resting on the same photo. I lifted my hand from beneath my pants and continued to scroll through the page, seeing more enticing pictures and videos. I stopped on a short video clip of Valerie wearing a comfortable summer dress. With a slow, gentle motion, Valerie lifted the dressing, clearly showing her panties. She grabbed the waist of her panties and began to lower the garment, revealing a cleanly shaven vagina.
    “Do you want a taste?” She asked, touching a fingertip to her vagina. I wanted to taste it. I wanted to taste it so badly, my mouth was watering. I could even imagine engaging in the sexual act myself.
    I wanted more. I wanted to experience everything that Valerie the Vixen had to offer. I want to feel her soft skin against my own as we embraced in bed or even on the couch; her soft lips lightly kissing my neck and chest.
    I decided to create a profile and subscribe to her onlyfans.com page. When I subscribed, a notification popped up at the side of the screen, under the messages tab.
    “Hey there, babe. Welcome to my Onlyfans page. My name is Valerie the Vixen, Here you will find the best content,” She began laying in bed in a green lace bra and panty set. “I want to hear from you, baby. Send me a message if you are looking for something special.” She added with a smile.
    Hey. I messaged her, scared and unsure if she would respond. I could feel my heart pounding beneath my chest, fear took my breath away. I had never done this before; my mind roamed through every possible scenario; could my information be stolen from the website? Will my attempt to chat with Valerie be screenshot and exposed to my loved ones? Will our chat be seen as cheating? Is this illegal?
    Bling. I heard the notification tone in my headphones; bringing me back to the reality of the chat with Valerie. The chat remained open on my computer screen. The bright red notification stuck out on the screen before me.
    Hey, baby. How are you? How did you find me? She responded. I looked at the words on the screen, actually scared to respond.
    Hey, I found your page through your social media. I nervously typed back, awaiting a response. A moment later, I could track the small bouncing bubbles that danced at the bottom of the screen when the other person was typing out their response.
    That’s great! Do you wanna have some fun? She typed.
    Yes, I responded, my heart bounding more than ever.
    Ooh, baby, What would you like to do? Her words sparked a part of my imagination that I never focused on before. I was intrigued and excited by the direction of the chat. Do you want to see me naked?
    Yeah. I responded, unaware of the answer I would receive. Before I knew it, a new box popped into the open chat. The box was blurred to distort the image and a paywall prevented me from accessing the exclusive material. It was priced at $15. At the bottom of the paywall, it indicated that the folder consisted of a minute-long video and a series of 10 photos.
    Let’s have some fun, baby. Please tip to open the folder. I want to show you what I want to do to you, baby.
    I didn’t know what to do. I focused my attention on the available link. Do I want to pay for the photos? Will this simple click of the mousepad be the catalyst for my fantasies?
    Are you naked in these photos, babe? I typed.
    Of course, I want to get you hard. Open it, babe.
 I clicked on the available link and approved the purchase. The blurred images were crystal clear; I had access to the full folder. Valerie posed in the photos; beginning in her bed, clothed in a powder blue lingerie set. As I clicked through the pictures, her position on the bed changed, and the number of clothes that she wore decreased until she was completely nude, seductively staring down the barrel of the camera, right into my eyes.
    At the end of the photo selection, I watched the video accompanying the pictures; she lay in bed and touched herself. She moaned. I watched the video clip multiple times. Each time I became more turned on and excited. Without realizing it, I was sitting naked in my chair, my pajama pants punched up at my feet.
    Do you like what you see, baby? She typed. Are you hard for me?
    I am so hard, baby. Do you wanna see it?  I asked, my excitement heightened.
    Yes, baby. Show it to me. She typed. I was taken aback. Yet, my excitement got the better of me. I took a photo and shared it with Valerie.
                                                                                          ***
    I woke in my bed to the sunlight peaking through the slits in my blinds, my energy diminished and weak my eyes were heavy. I felt exhausted. I reached for my phone, lying on my side table. I opened it instantly seeing Valerie’s Onlyfans page on my phone’s web browser. Sitting on the edge of my bed, I scrolled through the open chat. I saw the various photos that I shared as well as the various photo bundles that I purchased.
    Shame. It showered over me. Fear. It washed through my mind and coursed through my veins. It had been nearly a week since I subscribed to Valerie the Vixen’s page. Every night I found myself chatting with Valerie. We were sharing inappropriate pictures, and I was purchasing bundle after bundle. I was never satisfied, I wanted more every time.
    “I need to quit,” I told myself, looking at the purchase history over the last week; nearly $400 total. My eyes dropped in shame as I allowed my photo to slip through my fingers onto the floor.  I pressed my palms to my eyes, rubbing them intensively. “How can I quit this?”

                                                                     ***Note from the Author***

This story is an allegory of Porn addiction, yet it is not a true story. While i focused on the main character's brain receiving positive dopamine when consuming porn, the purpose of the story is summed up at the end; when the main character's beginning to feel the negative impact of the addiction over time. I simply ask that, as the reader, you would have an open heart and open mind to the realities of this powerful addiction. 
If you, or someone you know is dealing with this particular addiction, please reach out and find help. As a friend of an addict, please be loving and compassionate as they heal and recover. Thank you.