Provision in Pain

The young man sat at the kitchen table, his hands folded before him. His eyes rested shut as he bowed his head toward the illuminated cell phone before him. Even though he seemed at peace, his mind raced.
    The room was dark. The only light came from a ceiling fan that hung above the table, illuminating the space beneath it. The man sat alone, but he wasn’t alone. In the depths of the darkness was a humble home, where his wife laid his young daughter to bed for the night.
    “Hey Keith,” A soft voice spoke as a young woman approached the kitchen table. “How are you doing?” She asked, approaching her husband from behind. With a light touch she glided a finger across his shoulders. She took seat at the table beside her husband.
    “ I can’t believe that this has happened.” He uttered with a soft voice. “This is the last thing that we need, especially at time like this.” He continued.
    “I know that this seems inopportune, but we will be alright,” She said attempting to reassure her husband. “This is a difficult time for everybody. With this virus spreading through the world, everybody is struggling.”
    “I know, I know. I just can’t believe that I no longer have a job.” He interjected firmly, looking up from the table to the eyes of his wife. His face was distorted with worry and his eyes were filled with sorrow.
    “Did Mr. Thompson say that the lay off was permanent? Is there a chance that you will be brought back once the spread is stopped?” She responded, trying to meet his eyesight with love and compassion, yet matching his level of concern.
    “Mia, I don’t know. I work in the food service field. Right now, the restaurant is closed and on lockdown. My job is expendable. I don’t see why Mr. Thompson would hire me back. The only thing that I can think about is you and Annabelle. I need to provide for my family.” He said firmly, trying to keep his frustration at bay.
    “And you still are. Yeah, you’re not working right now, but you are a restaurant manager, who knows everything there is to know about the restaurant. Mr. Thompson would be foolish to not offer you your job back once this all blows over. You are an amazing father and husband. Also, don’t forget that I am still working, My paycheck will cover our bills for a while. We will just have to stretch each dollar for a while.” She explained.
    “I know and I am not trying to devalue your career. I know that working as a Technician at the pharmacy is extremely important. I guess I’m just scared.” Keith admitted. “You know, nothing in life can prepare us for this world wide chaos….”
    “I terrified too. The truth is, I step into work everyday wondering if the pharmacy will be closed. When it’s not I am faced with the reality that anyone I could be carrying the virus and they may not know it.” Mia explained.  “But I can’t allow my fear to break me. Right now more than ever, I am needed.”
    “Yes, yes you are,” He added with a smile. “You’re right.”
    The two sat together at the illuminated kitchen table in silence. The silence grew into comfort. It was a type of comfort that allowed a bond to develop between the two parties. Keith looked into his wife’s eyes and she looked into his. In that moment they trusted one another and they knew they would survive this pandemic.
    Through the silence, Mia shifted out of her chair and headed into the darkness. When she emerged from the darkness, she carried a small folder in her hand. She reclaimed her seat next to her husband. The two of them looked at the item that she retrieved. First, the folder: She opened it up and pulled out the context of the folder. First thing that Keith saw was a set of photographs. The photographs were from four years ago, when Keith and Mia were baptized at their local church.
    “I think we need a reminder.” Mia said calmly, looking at the set of photos. She analyzed the two photos; one of her and one of Keith. Both of them were very happy and full of joy.  After a moment, she spoke again, “Do you remember this day?”
    Keith nodded as a smile spread over his face. “I do. That was what-three or four years ago?”
    Mia agreed, looking at the pictures again.
    “Man, that was a great time in our lives. Everything was going so well for us.” Keith continued, still allowing the sorrow to fill his heart. Mia could feel the heaviness on her husband’s heart.
    “Honey, I know things feel difficult now. But what is the difference between then and now? The difference is us. At this time in our lives, we were better connected with each other and we were better connected with God.”
    Keith scoffed in disbelief.
    Mia continued, “We have always had difficult times in our lives, and the truth is, we always will. Now, I believe that the reason we are struggling so much right now is not the pandemic, but the bond with God that we are lacking. We are not letting God provide for us. I think we need to let God provide for us again.”
    With his head bowed down, Keith spoke, “I remember the church and I remember the baptism. It was a great day and we were happy. I don’t remember God. I remember the difficult times that we’ve faced, but I don’t remember God. I do remember us. I remember us working hard to pull ourselves out of those dumps. I remember the birth of Annabelle and the complete joy that we felt at that time. But I don’t remember God.” His words were sharp, yet gentle. He was speaking from his heart.He felt lost.
                                                                                                ***
Keith continuously found himself at that table, silently sitting in the dark. Every night he returned to the kitchen table after a long day of job searching and remaining in the home, spending time with his daughter. He sat in silence, allowing his wife and daughter to sleep as he protected them.
    On occasion, Keith would peak at his cell phone often awaiting for a text or a message. He desperately awaited the message that work would resume soon. He needed to get back to work. His desire to return to work grew stronger with the rising of a new sunrise. Yet nothing changed.
    God, where are you?
    Keith remained at the table, hoping that the world’s situation would improve, although the words of the news-stations reminded Keith that the pandemic wold get worse before it gets better. There was no hope.   
    How are we going to come out of this?
    No response……..
                                                                                             ***
    The next night, Keith finds himself perched at the kitchen table illuminated at the rotating ceiling fan. For a brief moment, Keith scrolled through his phone as it lay flat on the tabletop before him. He was searching for the text message from Mr. Thompson.
    Nothing.
    Keith combed his fingers through his hair in distress. Sitting at the opposing side of the table was the folder that Mia once showed to him, the same folder that contained the pair of baptism photos. Keith realized that Mia had been leaving the folder out for Keith before she cozied up into bed.
    Keith’s curiosity spiked as he looked puzzled at the folder. Keith reached for the folder and drew it closer to him. Keith placed the folder between his forearms, looking down at it. He paused before he opened the folder before him. He retrieved the contents and laid it before him, atop the pile was the pair of baptism photos.
    Keith found himself rummaging through the pile until he found an envelope that was addressed to him. He studied the envelope, realizing that it was a letter that he wrote to himself. Keith peeled the envelope open and gather the letter, where he opened the letter and spread it out on top of the pile of papers. He read the letter to himself.


The letter read:


Keith,
    It has been years since you’ve done this; write a letter to yourself. This is something that you began doing as a boy, it was always your way of reminding yourself of what you’ve been through. This was your way of dealing with the world around you. This is the best way of getting ahold of you.
    I can only imagine what you are going through. I know that you feel alone and I know that you feel lost. You always wanted security in your life and because of that, you have always chased the most secure aspects of life that you could think of; you’ve chased a successful job and a loving wife and children that you can teach.
    You met Mia and you instantly loved her and you have learned to trust her throughout the years. But I know that when things get difficult, you want your space. You build a wall around your heart and you refuse to let people; especially those who truly love you. You don’t want them to get hurt. You don’t want to get hurt. I have to say that Mia is different. She is trustworthy, She has always stood by your side. Unlike many of the other women that you loved, she has proven that she will not leave when times get difficult.
    It is because of her faith in God that she is able to stand by your side and remain strong. As we all know, life get difficult and we need our family and friends to support us in our lowest point. She does that.
    At the time that I am writing this, We just realized that Mia is pregnant. We were thinking of naming her Annabelle. Also, I was just baptized with Mia. I actually got the privilege to assist in her baptism. We couldn’t be happier! Honestly, when Mia and I first began going to church I was very skeptical. I never fully believed in God and I never fully surrendered to God, but seeing Mia’s faith, and the true actions of the church, God has opened my heart to His word.
    We started going to this church two and a half years ago and I have seen God provide for us as we looked for jobs and fought homelessness. It was then that the church and church members gathered around us and helped us pay our bills until we both found employment. Mia studied and became a technician, which was her first step toward her goal of becoming a pharmacist.
    Not long after, I began a job at a nearby restaurant. We were provided for. God placed people in our lives that were loving and compassionate and they were willing to sacrifice their finances in order to strengthen us in our times of weakness.
    I don’t know what you’re going through, but I know how you act in difficult times; often times you become an introvert who forgets the love and compassion for people around you. You will remember the hard work that it took for you to become successful and you ignore the truth that people are good and God is even better.
    Please, in this difficult time do not forget God and His provision. God has blessed you with a woman of faith who trusts God with all of her heart. Please remember God providing finances and resources through the compassion of complete strangers. Please place you faith in God once again because He loves you.
                                                                                          ***
    Keith sat in the same spot at the kitchen table the next morning. Sitting beside him was his daughter, Annabelle. The young child poured spoonfuls of cereal in her mouth and smiled at her father. Keith was overjoyed at the sight. He smiled back.
    Without a word, Keith lifted himself up from the table and heading for the third bedroom that was used as a home office. Keith retrieved the same folder that he had read from the night before. He grabbed the envelope from the folder and set it aside. Keith also laid a blank piece of lined paper in front of him. He wrote:


Keith,
    Whatever is going on, do not fear but choose to have faith in God’s working hand. He will always provide for you and your family: Annabelle’s life is proof of God’s grace and love. Trust in Him with all things.


Letter from writer:


Dear reader,


I know that these times are uncertain and truly scary for so many of us. I feel for everyone who has lost their job or who is uncertain of the their status of their employment. I wrote this story not to make light your situation. I wrote this story to do my best to understand the fear that so many fear. I pray that you are safe. I pray that your jobs are reinstated once all of this clears up. I know that everything is truly up in the air when it comes to when life will pop back to normal, but I truly believe that each of you are valuable to your family and loved ones and because of that I pray that your spirits stay encouraged. That is my ultimate goal. I want you to know that you are not alone, there is a community around you that loves you wants the best for you.
We at Beautiful Feet Entertainment love you and we will be praying for you through this difficult time.


I truly believe that God will provide for you in this turmoil that we are facing in this uncertain time. I pray that your heart will be open to His purpose and plan for your life. I Pray that you place your trust in the God that created you and knows your  needs at this time. God will provide. I pray that you find your joy in Jesus and your strength in the Holy Spirit and through it all, stay encouraged. ​