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When reading and learning about the interpretation of the Millennium that is described in Revelation chapter 20, there are a lot of varied thoughts and opinions that the purpose of the “Thousand years” that God has imprisoned Satan. Some believe that the thousand years is the literal number between Jesus ascending into heaven and when Jesus will return; although, some believe that the thousand years describes a figurative period of time until Jesus returns. There are three main ideas or interpretations of this theological concept; it is either Premillennialism, Postmillennialism, or Amillennialism.
To keep this subject as simple as possible, we will first review Premillennialism. According to the book, Three Views of the Millennium, Michael Morrison defines Premillennialism as, “The premillennialist says that everything will be restored after Christ’s return, not before. Satan is not gradually bound and restricted — the picture in Revelation is a sudden and complete containment” (Morrison, 2019). This implies that the thousand years of Jesus’ reign will begin before he returns to renew the world in Glory. This implies that Jesus will use his time to conquer his enemy and their allies before returning to the world to reveal His glory. This is reiterated by Morrison when he states, “Christ must reign until he has put all enemies under his feet. This is not an instantaneous event: Christ reigns for a span of time in which he destroys all enemies, even the enemy of death” (Morrison, 2019). This concept is further explained in Three Millennium Views, where it is further defined, “Premillennialism is the view that when Christ comes he will set up an earthly kingdom in which Christ is the king, and certain classes of believers are to reign with Him on the earth, over the nations” (https://d2l.macu.edu/content/enforced/55933-BINT120310W122F2/MillPart1.pdf?_&d2lSessionVal=8AjL7XIhq4i1CZBODi5rQ170N&ou=55933, n.d.). According to this set of beliefs, Satan was imprisoned at the beginning of the thousand years and will be released near the end, so that God can finish the battle. In that final battle, Satan will be able to gather his own army for the battle. It is also believed that after the battle, Jesus will create a New Heaven and New Earth for the believers. The second interpretation of the thousand-year concept is Postmillennialism. In the book Three Views of the Millennium, Morrison defines the concept as “The postmillennialist responds with the belief that God has promised victory for the gospel, and it is right to be optimistic about what God will do even in this age” (Morrison, 2019). This implies that Jesus will return after the millennium to create the New Heaven and New Earth. That means that those that believe in this interpretation believe that there will be a thousand-year period of peace and righteousness before Jesus returns. The writer of Three Millennium Views challenges this point of view when he states that the events of World War I and World War II show that our world is not merely peace and righteousness as we wait for Christ’s return (https://d2l.macu.edu/content/enforced/55933-BINT120310W122F2/MillPart1.pdf?_&d2lSessionVal=8AjL7XIhq4i1CZBODi5rQ170N&ou=55933, n.d.). The third and final interpretation of the Thousand-year wait is called, Amillennialism. This concept considers the thousand years to be figurative for the believers. It also implies that we are currently living in this time, awaiting Jesus’ return. According to Michael Morrison in Three Views of the Millennium, “In the millennial view, Christ also comes after the millennium, but it is called a millennial or non-millennial because it says that there is no special millennium different from what we are already in” (Morrison, 2019). This implies that Christ’s kingdom is currently in effect, yet it is merely spiritual until Christ’s return. We are currently living in this kingdom and the believers are expected to obey Christ’s Word and display Christ’s kingdom until Jesus’ return. The writer of Three Millennium Views states, “A thousand, the of perfection or completion, is held to be the symbolic reference to the perfect period or the complete period between the two comings of Christ” (https://d2l.macu.edu/content/enforced/55933-BINT120310W122F2/MillPart1.pdf?_&d2lSessionVal=8AjL7XIhq4i1CZBODi5rQ170N&ou=55933, n.d.). At this time in my life and understanding of Scripture, I tend to believe the Amillennialism point of view. I believe that Jesus is currently on the throne that was promised to David’s inheritance His is reigning at this time. That means that the church should fully be displaying God’s glory and his presence to the world through our preaching and how we live. One of the primary reasons that I believe this is because of the current struggles that we see in our world as we live. We see brokenness, disease, and war. This is further explained in Three Millennium Views, “We expect that wars will continue right up to the time of the end when Christ comes to set things right. We expect the elect to gathered out of an evil world, though we do that the command of Christ to preach the gospel to the whole world must be obeyed and that it is our duty to endeavor to establish a Christian society as far as it is in our power to do so, while we have an obligation to do this, we by no means, expect the whole of society will be Christianized” (https://d2l.macu.edu/content/enforced/55933-BINT120310W122F2/MillPart1.pdf?_&d2lSessionVal=8AjL7XIhq4i1CZBODi5rQ170N&ou=55933, n.d.). This is also evident in 1 Corinthians 15:56-58, where Paul emphasizes the victory that already has in Jesus. He states, “56 The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57 But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ” (NIV, Life Application Study Bible, Third Edition, Bonded Leather, Black, Red Letter, Thumb Indexed, 2019). Jesus gives us that victory now because he is on the throne and has the authority to grant us freedom and victory over sin and death. First, we will experience spiritual freedom and victory then we will be given our new body when Jesus creates the New Heaven and New Earth after his return. As stated in Romans 10:12-13, “12 For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, 13 for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved” (NIV, Life Application Study Bible, Third Edition, Bonded Leather, Black, Red Letter, Thumb Indexed, 2019). This reveals the power of Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection, which I believe extended throughout history; past, present, and future so that all who call upon the name of Jesus will be saved. I believe that is only possible if Christ’s kingdom is firstly spiritual in nature. As we are spiritual in nature and our first death in Adam and Eve was spiritual. It is because of this, I believe that Jesus first saves the soul while sitting on the spiritual throne and after Jesus’s physical return to Earth, He will renew and transform our physical bodies. Since Jesus is already on the throne and victorious, this means that the conflict between Satan and God has already been completed. This is stated by Micheal Morrison, Yes, says the amillennial view. There is evidence in Scripture that the kingdom of God has already begun, that Satan has already been bound, that there will be only one resurrection, and that Christ’s return will bring the new heavens and new earth, without any temporary kingdom in between. It is a hermeneutical mistake to make the book of Revelation, with all its symbolism and all its interpretive difficulties, contradict what the rest of Scripture says. We need to use the plain scriptures to interpret the obscure ones, rather than the other way around. In this case, the book of Revelation is the obscure and the controversial material (mainly because of the apocalyptic writing style), and the other New Testament verses are clear on the matter” (Morrison, 2019). Resources: Morrison, M. (2019, January 26). Three Views of the Millennium. Grace Communion Seminary. https://learn.gcs.edu/mod/page/view.php?id=4275 https://d2l.macu.edu/content/enforced/55933-BINT120310W122F2/MillPart1.pdf?_&d2lSessionVal=8AjL7XIhq4i1CZBODi5rQ170N&ou=55933. (n.d.). Three Millennium Views. Retrieved November 20, 2022, from https://d2l.macu.edu/content/enforced/55933-BINT120310W122F2/MillPart1.pdf?_&d2lSessionVal=8AjL7XIhq4i1CZBODi5rQ170N&ou=55933 NIV, Life Application Study Bible, Third Edition, Bonded Leather, Black, Red Letter, Thumb Indexed (Indexed, Thumbed). (2019). Zondervan.
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In order to best compare Paul’s pastoral epistles and the general epistles, it is highly important to accurately define the type of epistle that we will be looking into. According to www.biblicaltraining.com, the general epistles are, “It is concerned with the way the Christian faith is to be lived out in daily life, perhaps the most important section being that in which James opposes a corruption of the Pauline teaching that a man is justified by faith alone” (General Epistles, 2022). This definition also compares the teaching types of the two different types of epistles. Generally, the general epistles do not address a single church, but the lessons can be applied to any and every church and church leader that reads the words. The pastor’s epistles of Paul usually address a pastor’s specific needs for the job that they are facing. Paul will answer questions and provide guidance for the pastor. In this study, we will be reviewing Paul’s letter to Titus and comparing it to the writing of James.
First, we will be reviewing Paul’s letter to Titus while Titus was pastoring a church in Crete. This letter was written approximately in 64 AD, most likely during a time when Paul was imprisoned. According to the NIV Study Bible, It is possible that Paul wrote this letter in Macedonia while Paul traveled between his Roman imprisonments (NIV, Life Application Study Bible, Third Edition, Bonded Leather, Black, Red Letter, Thumb Indexed, 2019). The introductory notes continue to explain Paul’s ability to speak to a wide audience; everyone including the educated and the poor (NIV, Life Application Study Bible, Third Edition, Bonded Leather, Black, Red Letter, Thumb Indexed, 2019). Titus was a greek believer who was taught and nurtured by Paul throughout his life. Taking a moment to do an overview of the main themes of the Letter of Titus, it is easy to see that Paul focused on Service, Character, Church Relationships, and Citizenship. In this, Paul explains that the good news of salvation comes solely through Jesus Christ. Yet, it is important to serve the community around us as a way of demonstrating our faith in Jesus. While Paul’s letter to Titus is brief, it has been shown to be an important link to the discipleship process. Secondly, we will be looking at the writings of James. It is believed that this letter was written by James, believed to be the brother of Jesus around 49 AD. The purpose of this letter was “to expose hypocritical practices and to teach how Christians should live” (NIV, Life Application Study Bible, Third Edition, Bonded Leather, Black, Red Letter, Thumb Indexed, 2019). This letter is often considered a how-to book on Christian living. This fact makes this book very important to the life of a pastor and average-day Christians. According to the website, https://www.biblicaltraining.org, it states, “If we doubt that God is the source of all we need, then we are what James calls ‘double-minded.’ We have not yet made up our mind whether to follow Christ or not”(General Epistles, 2022). Similarly to the letter Titus, James focuses on living out the Christian life and allowing God to provide the power that we do not have to transform our lives. As it states in www.theologyofwork.org, “If faith is real—if we truly trust God—then our faith will lead to all kinds of practical actions for the benefit of others in need. This perspective makes James an eminently practical book” (https://www.theologyofwork.org/new-testament/general-epistles#introduction-general-epistles, 2002). We should fully trust in God to transform our lives and provide us with opportunities to grow and involve our faith in every aspect of our lives. Although, often our faith is strengthened and developed through difficulties. This is expanded on in www.theologyofwork.org, “ Another kind of trial arises from failure at work. Some failures can be so traumatic that they shake our faith. For example, getting laid off (made redundant) or dismissed from a job may be so devastating that we question everything we previously relied on, including faith in Christ” (https://www.theologyofwork.org/new-testament/general-epistles#introduction-general-epistles, 2002). These two letters are written nearly 20 years apart, but they often speak about the same subjects. The two letters are also written for a similar audience; pastors and church letters. Since pastors are teaching everyday Christians, it is important for pastors to demonstrate a livelihood of honesty and integrity. I believe that there is a lot to learn in studying these two letters and we should read them closely to learn and observe the life of a Christian leader. Resources: Davy, D. (1865). New Testament for English Readers. http://ia902806.us.archive.org/9/items/newtestamentfor03alfogoog/newtestamentfor03alfogoog.pdf. http://ia902806.us.archive.org/9/items/newtestamentfor03alfogoog/newtestamentfor03alfogoog.pdf NIV, Life Application Study Bible, Third Edition, Bonded Leather, Black, Red Letter, Thumb Indexed (Indexed, Thumbed). (2019). Zondervan. General Epistles. (2022). https://www.biblicaltraining.org. https://www.biblicaltraining.org/library/general-epistles https://www.theologyofwork.org/new-testament/general-epistles#introduction-general-epistles. (2002). Introduction to General Epistles. https://www.theologyofwork.org/new-testament/general-epistles#introduction-general-epistles When fully explaining the Gospel and its purpose, it is extremely vital to look at the life and the ministry of Paul. In his early life, Paul was known by the name of Saul, a religious leader who made a career in killing Christians as the Gospel began to spread in the first century. It was one of Saul’s journeys that he came face-to-face with Jesus and his life changed. From the time that Paul became a follower of Jesus and carried the title of Apostle, Paul was unashamed of his faith and began traveling around the world where he preached the Gospel and started churches. Amid his travels, Paul would pen letters that he would send to various churches. The purpose of these letters would vary depending on the audience, but according to a YouTube video called, Paul’s Letters: A quick overview, the primary purpose of his letter was either to address issues within a church or to help correct or train a pastor (Paul’s Letters: A Quick Overview, 2018).
Three types of letters needed to be studied; Paul’s general epistle, Paul’s circular letter, and a letter that Paul wrote while in prison. The letter that Paul wrote to the Galatians was written approximately 49 AD, prior to the Jerusalem Council in 50 AD. The church of Galatians was started by Paul in his first missionary journey, therefore he had a personal connection to the church members and the pastor. According to the introductory notes of the Life Application Study Bible, the book of Galatians is the charter of Christian Freedom (NIV, Life Application Study Bible, Third Edition, Bonded Leather, Black, Red Letter, Thumb Indexed, 2019). When Paul initially founded this church and began teaching, the people welcomed him openly, but as his teachings convicted them of bad behavior and sin, they soon followed false teachings. The purpose of this letter was to refute the teachings that Christians needed to follow Jewish law to be saved. This pattern seems to still affect the church today; people like it when the pastor encourages them, but the people do not want to come to face their shortcomings. The bravery to share the truth regardless of criticism and ridicule is important for my journey as a pastor because I will come face-to-face with those who do not like what they are faced with. According to the book, The New Testament for English Readers, “The object of the Epistle was, to defend his own apostolic authority and to expose the Judaistic error by which they were being deceived” (Davy, 1865). The next letter of Paul that will be focused on his letter to the Ephesians. This letter was written around 60 AD. It is believed that Paul wrote this letter while in prison in Rome. According to the introductory notes of the Life Application Study Bible, the purpose of this letter was to “strengthen the believers in Ephesus in their Christian faith by explaining the nature and the purpose of the church, the body of Christ” (NIV, Life Application Study Bible, Third Edition, Bonded Leather, Black, Red Letter, Thumb Indexed, 2019). These introductory notes also refer to the letter of Ephesians as the “Epistle of the Grace of God” (NIV, Life Application Study Bible, Third Edition, Bonded Leather, Black, Red Letter, Thumb Indexed, 2019). This is another church that Paul had established when he founded this church around 52 AD. It is quoted in The New Testament for English Readers when it quotes Thephyact, “‘Seeing that this city is superstitious, and prided itself so much on its wise men, Paul takes great pain in writing to suck persons, and has entrusted them the deeper and loftier of his thoughts, as to persons fully instructed.’” The author also furthers their point by adding a quote from Grotius, “‘Paul, now old in the apostolic office, and in prison in Rome, shows them how great is the power of the Gospel above all other doctrines.’” (Davy, 1865). It is evident that Paul understood the culture of the churches that he write and corrected. This is very important for churches today. We need to study and be diligent without isolating people or placing ourselves above the people morally. One of the best ways to achieve this goal is to diligently study the Gospel as well as the culture that we are reaching. Too often we are expected to study the Bible, but that pressure does not create diligent discipline, but an item on a checklist. This is also discussed in The New Testament for English Readers when it states, “The student of the Epistle to the Ephesians must not expect to go over his ground rapidly; much not be disappointed, if the week’s end find him still on the same paragraph, or even on the same verse, weighing and judging,-penetrating gradually, but the power of the mind of the Spirit, through one outer surface after another.” (Davy, 1865). The last letter that will be studied is the letter to the Philippians. This church was planted by Paul, Silas, and Timothy in Paul’s second missionary journey. The letter was written while Paul was imprisoned in Rome in 61 AD. According to the introductory notes of the Life Application Study Bible, the purpose of this letter was to “Thank the Philippians for the gift they had sent and to strengthen these believers by showing them that true joy comes from Jesus Christ alone” (NIV, Life Application Study Bible, Third Edition, Bonded Leather, Black, Red Letter, Thumb Indexed, 2019). This letter was considered to be Paul’s joy letter, where he shared his joy while being imprisoned. This is an important outlook for the church to have since we are going to face troubles and struggles throughout our lives and ministry. We also need to be reminded of how to find joy in Christ when going through difficult times. This is no more evident than in Paul’s writing in this letter. In The New Testament for English Readers, simply states, “No epistle is so warm in its expression of affection. Again and again we have ‘beloved’ and ‘brethren’ recurring.” (Davy, 1865). Resources: Davy, D. (1865). New Testament for English Readers. http://ia902806.us.archive.org/9/items/newtestamentfor03alfogoog/newtestamentfor03alfogoog.pdf. http://ia902806.us.archive.org/9/items/newtestamentfor03alfogoog/newtestamentfor03alfogoog.pdf NIV, Life Application Study Bible, Third Edition, Bonded Leather, Black, Red Letter, Thumb Indexed (Indexed, Thumbed). (2019). Zondervan. Paul’s Letters: a Quick Overview. (2018). [Video]. YouTube.com. https://youtu.be/igQOdLd-jcc When studying the New Testament, especially the four Gospels, there is always a question of comparing them and identifying their similarities and differences. While there may be fewer questions from the casual reader or believer, I believe that the more studious reader of the Gospels will desire answers to these more difficult questions. First of all, it is important to know the purpose of the gospel as well as the intended audience of the gospel. This information helps the reader place the book into the correct historical context. Secondly, the avid reader will seek the answer to how each gospel portrays the life and ministry of Jesus. It may be hard to believe, but each gospel portrays Jesus in a different light, showing various aspects of Jesus’ personality. Lastly, it is important to understand the major theme of the gospel in question.
When studying the purpose of the gospel, it is important to view it in the correct context historically and understand the audience for which the gospel was written. For starters, the gospel of Matthew is the first book of the new testament. This means that it is ultimately the bridge between the old testament and what would become the new testament. Therefore, Matthew writes from the Jewish perspective to allow context. On page 20 of Discovering the New Testament, it states, “The Gospel of Matthew is especially suited to be the first Gospel and to function as the transition book from the Old Testament to the New. It is written with a Jewish perspective in mind and gives special attention to the way Jesus fulfilled various prophecies (and the Law) of the Old Testament.” (Varughese, 2004). The Gospel of Matthew was written approximately between 60 and 65 AD, only 30 years after the crucifixion of Jesus. Matthew was one of the original disciples of Jesus, therefore he was writing from personal experience, which added validity to the story. The book of Matthew is the gospel that provides the most structure to the story, which the main goal of proving Jesus as the Messiah. According to Mark Strauss’ Four Portraits, One Jesus, he states that Matthew “presents Jesus as the Jewish Messiah, the fulfillment of the Old Testament hopes” (Strauss, 2007). In the Gospel of Mark, the writer details the suffering of the son of God. This book’s primary purpose was to present the person, work, and teachings of Jesus. Unlike Matthew, Mark was not a disciple of Jesus. In reality, Mark accompanied Paul on his first missionary trip. In Discovery of the New Testament, on page 20, it states, “Mark is characterized by the energetic activity of Jesus. Mark’s descriptions are actually more detailed than Matthew’s, but Mark contains very few sections of the teachings of Jesus”(Varughese, 2004). This gospel was collected and written around 55 and 65 AD, meaning it could have been written around the same time as the Gospel of Matthew. As discussed in the YouTube video entitled, Who Was Jesus in the Gospel of Mark? Joseph Dongel explained that the Gospel of Mark is a book about Identity, mainly the identity of Jesus. He further explained the various ways that Jesus is identified throughout the book; whether it be God the Father identifying Jesus as His beloved son as Jesus’ baptism or the demons identifying Jesus as the Son of God (Who Was Jesus in the Gospel of Mark? 2012). This sentiment is reiterated in Discovering the New Testament on page 20, “The kingdom of God, Jesus as the Messiah, Jesus as the Son of God, and Jesus as the Son of Man are common themes treated in Mark” (Varughese, 2004). In Four Portraits, One Jesus, Strauss states, “Mark portrays him as the suffering Son of God, who offers himself as a sacrifice for sins” (Strauss, 2007). Similar to Mark, Luke was not one of Jesus’ disciples. Instead, he was a doctor who compiled an accurate account of the life of Jesus, where he presented Jesus as the perfect person and savior. Luke was a close friend and companion for Paul. The gospel was written approximately in 60 AD, after traveling and interviewing eye-witness to the ministry of Jesus. After reading and reviewing the Gospel of Luke, it is clear that Luke focused on Jesus’ relationship with people. On page 20 of Discovering the New Testament, it states, “Luke gives special attention to the poor, to the sick, to the inclusion of Gentiles in God’s plan of salvation, and to the participation of women in the work and ministry of Jesus”(Varughese, 2004). This is supported by the book Four Portraits, One Jesus by Mark Strauss which indicates on page 56 in future 1.2 that Jesus was the Savior of all people. Mark Strauss also indicates that Luke’s writing is the most thematic of the Gospels (2007). When portraying Jesus to the audience, Mark Strauss States, “Luke’s Jesus is the savior for all people, who brings salvation to all nations and people groups” (Strauss, 2007). Lastly, looking at the Gospel of John the avid reader will notice a completely different writing style to the previous three gospels. While Matthew, Mark, and Luke are more narratives, where they share the events of Jesus’ ministry, John writes the most theological study of the ministry of Jesus according to Mark Strauss. Strauss also adds that John’s gospel is described as the gospel of the Devine Son who reveals the father (2007). This sentiment of the Gospel of John is reiterated in Discovering the New Testament, where page 20 states, “The Gospel of John is often characterized as the most “theological” of the four Gospels. There is a strong emphasis on Jesus as Messiah and as Son of God, with a special focus on the unique Father-Son relationship of Jesus and God” (Varughese, 2004). The book of John was the last of the gospels to be written, being dated approximately 85 to 90 AD with the express purpose of conclusively proving Jesus is the Son of God that was prophesied about so many years prior. In the final portrait of Jesus, “John’s Jesus is the eternal Son of God, the self-revelation of God the father” (Strauss, 2007). All four of these portraits give a perfect and complete look at Jesus’s personality and ministry in four separate accounts. Resources: Strauss, M. (2007). Four Portraits, One Jesus. zondervan. https://macu.overdrive.com/media/302063 Varughese, A. (Ed.). (2004). Discovering the New Testament: Community and faith. Kansas City: Beacon Hill Press. NIV, Life Application Study Bible, Third Edition, Bonded Leather, Black, Red Letter, Thumb Indexed (Indexed, Thumbed). (2019). Zondervan. Who Was Jesus in the Gospel of Mark? (2012). [Video]. YouTube.com. https://youtu.be/8J2LP9_f3SY **This is a sermon sample that I wrote while in school****
What does every great movie, TV show, Book and Documentary have in common? All of the best stories have a protagonist that goes through a period of growth. In nearly every case the growth will happen through a series of difficulties and trials. Whether it be Rocky Balboa, the countless examples in Star Wars, The Little Mermaid, or the inspirational story of our favorite musicians, athletes, dancers, or performers; all of the retellings will indicate struggles and the life lessons and growth that result from the trials that our heroes have faced. In today’s passage, we will be studying this very phenomenon. We will be focusing on James 1:12-15; which says, “Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed”(cite). First, there are three words that we need to understand before we can fully understand this verse.
As I conclude this message, I must ask; What are the moments in your life that taught you the greatest lessons? Are they the easiest moments of leisure or relaxation? Or did you learn the most from the moments that you were forced to face difficulties and trials? Did you learn the most in the moments where you could not find a solution on your own, but you had to trust God’s timing and the helping hands of family and friends? We should remember these moments as the milestones where our true character is created and developed. In these moments we become men and women of integrity and outstanding character. Resources: AMAZING GRACE. (2023). https://www.preceptaustin.org. Retrieved January 30, 2023, from https://www.preceptaustin.org/titus_211-16#gc One of the most common questions that Christian Apologists get asked is “If God is loving and powerful, why does He allow pain?” Truthfully, this is a valid question that needs to be addressed when fighting for the belief in the existence of a loving and all-powerful God. This is a question that needs to be addressed when trying to reason why those that we love and share life experiences suffer and deal with unimaginable pain. This is a valid question for those who have suffered and have begun to think that “Life is Suffering” (Brooks, 2022).
Initially, our human nature and our natural love for life would cause us to retort with the response, “Life is not suffering”, but the truth is everyone suffers. Everyone deals with pain and everyone is molded by the suffering that they endure. It is through the pain and suffering that we endure that we grow and learn. In the book The Allure of Gentleness, The author writes, “It is only in the heat of pain and suffering, both mental and physical, that real human character is forged” (Willard, 2015). Regardless of the level of pain and suffering that we encounter, whether it be cancer, starvation, homelessness, or heartbreak, we grow and develop through our response to our suffering. When we suffer, our brain activates the pleasure and pain receptors, and those signals will teach us to continue the action that caused the suffering or cancel the action that caused the suffering. Dr. Brooks explains it this way in an article for Psychology Today, “Suffering is not only functional, it serves the greater good! The roots of suffering are grounded in our evolutionary heritage. Suffering motivates us to move away from things that can cause us harm whereas pleasure and happiness help us move toward things that are good for us” (Brooks, 2022). Now that we have determined how pain and suffering benefit us in the long run, we need to determine how the Bible discusses pain and suffering. In James 1:2-4, the author states, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (NIV, Life Application Study Bible, Third Edition, Bonded Leather, Black, Red Letter, Thumb Indexed, 2019). While this verse largely understates human suffering to trials and tribulations, it is evident that the author of the letter of James knows that when we face difficulties in life we grow. In our difficult times, we could either grow to be bitter and resentful or we could use our difficulties to become better people or as the author of James calls it, “perseverance.” When we face pain and suffering head-on, we need to ensure that we do not lose our joy and become bitter and angry. The second verse that I believe helps guide our thinking is what the Bible says about our attitude while we endure suffering Romans 5:1-5, “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us” (NIV, Life Application Study Bible, Third Edition, Bonded Leather, Black, Red Letter, Thumb Indexed, 2019). Regardless of our suffering, we can find peace in the suffering. According to this scripture, we have peace through Jesus and Jesus’ love for us. Our perseverance to find joy and hope in our suffering is further connected to God and it is through that love that we find peace in Christ. The next section of the valid question that we need to discuss is “Why would God allow suffering?” Many unbelievers wonder why God does not prevent pain and suffering if God is all-powerful and all-loving. Many would argue that since God does not prevent or stop the suffering that we endure then God does not love us as claimed. In the book The Allure of Gentleness, The author writes, “To hold that this second premise is true is to presuppose that God can only be good if he is a Jolly Good Fellow, running to satisfy our every whim and fancy and ease our every pain” (Willard, 2015). Even though God does not immediately eliminate our suffering this does not mean that we are not loved. It shows that God is focused on our overall character that will be created and developed through suffering. Since God is all-powerful and all-knowing, God sees the multitude of outcomes and possibilities that stem from our suffering. It is because God loves us that we are provided with support from our family, friends, and our church family amid our suffering. It is because of God’s love that we find hope and peace in our family as we heal. Dr. Brooks explains it this way in an article for Psychology Today, “Certainly, life can be beautiful, and we should practice gratitude for the many miracles and wonders that life has to offer. That said, another truth is that whether one is a pauper or a king, everyone suffers. Thus, we must learn to skillfully deal with the challenge of suffering, or it will undermine our ability to enjoy life” (Brooks, 2022). References Willard, D. (2015). The allure of gentleness: defending the faith in the manner of Jesus. https://openlibrary.org/books/OL25774788M/The_allure_of_gentleness NIV, Life Application Study Bible, Third Edition, Bonded Leather, Black, Red Letter, Thumb Indexed (Indexed, Thumbed). (2019). Zondervan. Brooks, M. (2022, January 25). The Purpose and Problem of Suffering. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-happy-life/202201/the-purpose-and-problem-suffering. Retrieved February 4, 2024, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-happy-life/202201/the-purpose-and-problem-suffering According to the book The Allure of Gentleness, writer Dallas Willard states, “Apologetics is a helping ministry” (Willard, 2015). Apologetics is not only meant to teach Bible stories but to create an environment that helps dispel doubts, and also “helps people believe and know the things that are especially related to Jesus Christ: his coming into the world, his life and death, and now his continuing to live in us” (Willard, 2015).
Unfortunately for many apologetics has caused more hurt and confusion than it has developed knowledge and reason. This week I spoke to a handful of individuals to get their take on apologetics and the church. Everyone that I will refer to is someone that I know personally and have observed in their life. I spoke to a pastor at my local church, a good friend, and his wife, along with a few members of the LGBTQ+ community members who grew up in the church. The first question that we discussed was: Do you see the church seeking to dispel doubts about God? First off, I spoke to my good friend, Travis, and his wife Shelbe. Travis does not attend church regularly and his wife was raised in the church. Later in her life, she stopped attending church. When posed this question, Travis stated that when he has attended church he felt that the church’s focus was to dispel the doubts of those who attend and provide them with hope as they face those doubts. It seems he finds hope in that. Shelbe states that while the church should work to dispel doubts of the congregation, the history of the church has shown that the actions of the church have created doubt and disbelief. This sentiment was shared by the LGBTQ+ members that I spoke to. They shared that as they grew up they felt that the church alienated them, causing them to leave the church. The pastor that I spoke to is the same pastor who is mentoring me through ministry. Watching Pastor Brandon preach and discuss the church with him, it is evident that he is working to dispel doubts about God in his personal life and with his church. However, he was also open regarding the fact that many ministers are ineffective in their ministry, which is creating doubt for many. I followed this question with the second question: Do you see the church seeking to give answers to the difficult problems of life? When I asked this question to my friends in the LGBTQ+ community, they unanimously answered that the church made aspects of their lives more difficult. They sought answers elsewhere, which is where they found a community that they could actively be a part of and further developed personal relationships. One of the interviewees, Roxy, created an adopted family of love and acceptance. Sammi, who is still involved in the church is creating a Bible study/support group for the LGBTQ+ community to help them strengthen their faith while enhancing their community. When asked this question, Pastor Brandon impressed upon me the importance of the church working diligently to help its members navigate the difficulties of life. This support group will help the members navigate these difficult times. Pastor Brandon referred to his wife, another Methodist pastor, sharing her passion for helping those who are struggling to find answers and connect with a church community that will help them find the answers they seek. He implied that this is the job of the church. When I asked this question of Travis and Shelbe, they both had similar answers; they stated that the church is at its best when it seeks to give answers to the difficult problems in life. However, Shelbe added that too often the church focuses its attention on the comfortability of the members and delivers messages that sound a lot like inspirational speeches. Both of them agreed that the politics of the church often get in the way of the church answering difficult questions. The third question that I asked was: Do you see the church encouraging trust in a personal relationship with God? In response to this Pastor Brandon shared his intention to guide the congregation to develop a personal relationship with God. I expanded on the question and asked him how this plays out in his personal life as well and shared his family’s tradition of eating dinner at a dinner table, where the adults and children are free to share their concerns and their days. From what he shared, his children can share their thoughts about their faith and Jesus, this allows for open discussion on scripture and spiritual growth. Recently Pastor Brandon has encouraged the church members to create similar traditions that will develop relationships with family members as well as God. In response to this question, Travis and Shelbe stated that they enjoy the community that is found in church, but that does not always equate to a strong relationship with God. Travis added a relationship with God should be personalized to the individual and we concluded that each would express their faith differently. For those in the LGBTQ+ community that I spoke to, Sammi shared that in the years past, the church has caused her to question her relationship with God. Since she was treated differently, she felt unworthy of God’s love. Sammi is using her understanding of this alienated feeling to reach out to others in the LGBTQ+ community to create a support group. She is hoping to help provide healing for those that the church has hurt over the years. This sentiment was shared by Roxy as well, which was one of the reasons why she left the church and found hope and purpose in a community of love and acceptance. As I learned from each person whom I spoke to, I began to see how important relationship is; both inside and outside of the church. The truth is; if the church is not careful, it can easily destroy relationships that are vital for spiritual and personal growth. I think that the church needs to place a lot of focus on creating a safe place for those seeking hope and answers to do so without ridicule and shame. I believe that this starts with creating an atmosphere where difficult questions can be asked and answers can be found. When church members have solid relationships with other people, they feel comfortable asking these questions and seeking answers. It is through these answers that church members will develop a deeper understanding of God. It is from there that we can face our doubts as well. When we look through the New Testament and the ministry of Jesus, it seems that we often overlook the choosing of the disciples and preparing them for the work that they will later face. Often we focus on Jesus healing the sick or feeding the hungry, but these miracles would have been forgotten if not for the leadership of the disciples.
After looking at the strategy that Jesus displayed with his disciples, one would get an idea that Jesus was demonstrating a highly effective strategy for preparing men and women for ministry. After this study, it is evident that this strategy is not only effective but necessary for effective ministry. The first step that Jesus displays is choosing the disciples who will follow him and learn from him. These disciples will also inherit Jesus’ ministry and continue it. Throughout the New Testament, it is easy to see that Jesus often chose those who were the least likely to be chosen, yet they were willing to learn from Jesus and accept the calling of God. In the book The Master Plan of Evangelism by Robert Coleman, he states this about the disciples, “Their mannerisms may have been awkward and their abilities limited, but except for the traitor, their hearts were big” (Coleman, 2006). Once Jesus chose his disciples, he focused on developing relationships with these men. In Luke 6:12-13 it states, “One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God. When morning came, he called his disciples to him and chose twelve of them, whom he also designated apostles” (NIV, Life Application Study Bible, Third Edition, Bonded Leather, Black, Red Letter, Thumb Indexed, 2019). This verse shows two very important things; first, Jesus prayed before choosing the disciples, showing that he carefully and prayerfully chose the disciples; and secondly, this verse indicates that Jesus most likely had more followers than the twelve. Yet, he wasn’t choosing followers he was choosing his successors. In the book The Master Plan of Evangelism by Robert Coleman, he adds, “His only hope was to get leaders inspired by his life who would do it for him” (Coleman, 2006). When it comes to the American churches of today, especially the church that I attend, I believe that this is one of the most forgotten steps in discipleship. From my experience current-day churches have a single primary focus; get people into the doors of a church. We preach from a pulpit or stage and tell our congregations to simply invite our friends and family to church. We phrase it to feel as if that is discipleship, it is not. Jesus will often demonstrate discipleship by fully investing in the twelve disciples over ministering to the masses. The American church has often forgotten the leaders and fully focused on ministering to the masses and adding to the overall size of the church. This is why so many young pastors burnout and feel unsupported. In the book The Complete Book of Discipleship by Bill Hull, the author states, “Discipleship isn’t for beginners alone; it’s for all believers for every day of their life. Discipleship isn’t just one of the things the church does; it is what the church does.” (Hull, 2014). This is evident in Jesus’ ministry and should be mirrored by the church at all costs. looking further into Jesus’ strategy for developing evangelists, one would notice that while Jesus focused on developing leaders, he did not forget about the masses that would seek out help and healing. Jesus was looking for a greater impact through his evangelism. In the book The Master Plan of Evangelism by Robert Coleman, he states, “His concern was not with programs to reach the multitudes, but with men whom the multitudes would follow” (Coleman, 2006). We also see that Jesus helped the disciples to understand the impact of his ministry on the masses. This is evident in Mark 6:30-31, “The apostles gathered around Jesus and reported to him all they had done and taught. Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest” (NIV, Life Application Study Bible, Third Edition, Bonded Leather, Black, Red Letter, Thumb Indexed, 2019). These verses indicate that Jesus brought the twelve to places where the masses were being cared for. Which gave them a solid idea of what would be expected; while displaying Jesus’ care for the disciples, giving them food and rest after the people were served and cared for. Robert Coleman adds, “For this reason, unless Jesus’ converts were given competent men of God to lead them on and protect them in the truth, they would soon fall into confusion and despair, and the last state would be worse than the first” (Coleman, 2006). In regards to the church that I attend and am being mentored in, I see that this is an area where the church needs a lot of improvement. I believe this is partially because the majority of my church is attended by elderly people who feel they have been disciplined and taught. There are very few young men and women being trained for pastoral care. Also, there are few children and young adults in the church at this point. At this point in my mentorship, I am being trained in preparing and running a church service. I have not had much training in training other leaders in the church. I also believe that I need more training in the various expectations and pressures of a pastor. I believe that I need further training in the spiritual guidance of the congregation and how to spiritually lead members of the church through difficult times. References Coleman, R. E. (2006). The Master Plan of Evangelism. Baker Books. Hull, B. (2014). The complete Book of Discipleship: On Being and Making Followers of Christ. Tyndale House. NIV, Life Application Study Bible, Third Edition, Bonded Leather, Black, Red Letter, Thumb Indexed (Indexed, Thumbed). (2019). Zondervan.  DISCLAIMER: The story you are about to read contains graphic violence and sexual situations. I pray that the reader would be able to look at the deeper meaning of the piece as it relates to Wrestling with Faith. Reader discretion is advised.
The room was dark. A single-bulb lamp illuminated the computer desk. A young man sat before the computer, typing and scrolling through numerous pages. The computer screen was filled with a variety of pornographic websites and social media posts that displayed some of the harshest, most dehumanizing images and video clips that could be imagined. The young man clicked through pictures and video clips, looking for the most stimulating. He stopped clicking and watched. The clip played shows a young girl walking alone through the night. She roamed a barking garage, looking for her car. She was dressed in jeans and a cropped black halter top with thin straps over the shoulders. Over the top was a light tan jacket. As she looked for her car, a figure approached her from behind. The figure’s face was covered, but it was evident that the figure approaching was a male. The male ran up to the young lady as quietly as possible and grabbed her halter top, ripping it off her, revealing her breast to the cold night air. She tried to cover herself, but the male figure made one last attempt to grab her arms and pull them away from her body, laughing while he was doing it. The young lady crouched to the floor, attempting to protect her body. It was not a staged video. The camera was hidden behind a car across from the incident. The young lady was not aware that she would be sexually assaulted, and recorded. She did not know that her humiliation would posted on the internet for strangers to enjoy. The computer screen was littered with these sexual assault videos, each one more grotesque than the last. Some were men being stripped in public by women, where they would laugh at his flaccid penis in the open air; others were women pantsing each other in front of dates and crushes. One video showed one girl tricking another female friend into tying her hands around a tree in the front yard. When the trapped friend least expected it, she was stripped of her clothes and left naked in her front yard. It was daylight, and several cars drove by, witnessing the embarrassment. The young man sitting in front of the computer enjoyed each video, taking time to pleasure himself while watching the humiliation videos. *** The sun shines through the thick clouds in the fall air. The young man strolled through the open sidewalk, his headphones blaring music into his ears as he looked at the road ahead. I need to go to the store. I’m getting thirsty. He thought to himself, heading toward the door of a local grocery store. Upon entering the store, he headed toward the refrigerators by the self-check. He grabbed his favorite energy drink and a small package of sour gummy worms. Let me look around to see if there is anything else we need. He thought as he strolled through the store. Entering the frozen food section, he met eyes with a beautiful brunette. She was dressed in a short white skirt and a tight black shirt that cut off just above the belly button. She was not very tall, which made her thighs and breasts look perfectly proportioned to her body. He couldn’t look away, even though he knew that he should. Look at her. He thought to himself as he started intently. Her skirt would be so easy to pull up. I wonder if she’s wearing any underwear. I bet she’s not. He noticed that none was in the aisle with them. He glanced at the end of each side of the aisle, it was clear. I could do it right now. No one would see, but she would be so embarrassed. It would be funny. He stopped in his tracks, shocked at the thought that intruded into his mind. The young lady in the white skirt was stopped, facing a freezer of frozen pizzas, trying to decide which one to get. He was facing her. He was heading toward her before stopping to decipher the thought that interrupted his day. Shocked at himself, he turned around and sped toward the register. He quickly and quietly paid for his energy drink and sour gummy worms and left the store. *** He stared at the computer. This time, the room was illuminated by an overhead ceiling fan installed in the center of the room. He opened his web browser and opened his web history. He scrolled. In the last few months, he had indulged in pornographic material at least four times a week. Sometimes, he even viewed porn daily. On multiple occasions, he viewed porn and explicit social media posts multiple times a day. As he scrolled through his web history, his mind was flooded with memories of the material he indulged in. As he further studied the history displayed before him, he realized that the content he viewed often escalated in severity. What started with photo stills of nude women turned into videos of explicit sexual acts; then, it escalated into public flashing and humiliation videos and even open abuse. “What am I doing?” He asked himself about the web history still displayed before him. Without opening any of the previous websites that he had visited, he remembered all of them. He remembered the celebrities that had their nudes stolen and leaked; he remembered the Onlyfans websites that he subscribed to. He remembered the chats that he would have with the Onlyfans models, conversations where he sent inappropriate photos of himself, asking the models to mock and humiliate him. “What have you become? I could have hurt someone.” He asked himself, dropping his head onto his desk. He looked down at the carpet beneath him. “This is not who I want to be. This is not who I am.” With the web browser open and the search history still displayed, he cleared the history, leaving a black screen before him, a clean slate. *** The room was dark. A single-bulb lamp illuminated the computer desk. A young man sat before the computer, typing and scrolling through numerous pages. The computer screen was filled with a variety of websites and social media posts promoting the dangers of porn addictions and no-fap communities. “I didn’t realize any of this existed,” He mumbled to himself, reading further on fightthenewdrug.org, which is a sight that provides resources and articles that discuss and raise awareness of the harmful effects of porn. Reading on, Wesley realized that many of the articles used science to explain porn’s impact on the brain. This intrigued him since he wasn’t concerned with religious organizations that shamed adults and young adults for desiring sex. Wesley was currently reading an article entitled “How Porn Can Become an Escalating Behavior”(https://fightthenewdrug.org/how-porn-can-become-an-escalating-behavior/). He found it fascinating, especially since the eye-opening incident at the grocery store. I can’t believe it got this far.” Wesley said, his face buried in his palms. He felt his palms moisten from the tears in his eyes. He looked up from his palms, looking back at the website. He knew that he found something special. He knew that he had discovered a resource that would help him understand his compulsive and addictive behavior. “This looks like he will be a great resource for me,” Wesley whispered, looking at the Fight The New Drug Website. He scrolled through the articles and the videos, reviewing the content found. “I will look into this more.” *** The sun shines through the thick clouds in the fall air. Wesley strolled through the open sidewalk, his headphones blaring music into his ears as he looked at the road ahead. Man, I'm getting thirsty. I need to stop at the store to grab something. Wesley thought to himself as he headed to the nearest grocery store. Once he entered the grocery store, he headed to toward the refrigerators by the self-check. He grabbed his favorite energy drink and a small package of sour gummy worms. It was out of habit that Wesley decided to roam the rest of the store, unsure what he was looking for, yet looking nonetheless. Strolling through the snack aisle, Wesley’s eyes roamed through the snacks. At the end of the aisle opposite Wesley was facing a beautiful blonde with bright blue eyes. She was tall, dressed in a yellow T-shirt and white shorts. Their eyes met as they passed each other. Once she was walking on, Wesley found himself slightly turning his eyes to stare at her butt as she walked down the aisle. This is not acceptable. You’ve got to look away. Wesley told himself as she turned his eyes back to the snacks laid before him. I know it is exhausting, keep your eyes off of her. Wesley told himself. He kept walking down the aisle to avoid the desired sight. With a quick turn, Wesley finds himself in another aisle, surrounded by three more attractive women who are wearing outfits that create a sexualized imagination in Wesley. Keep your eyes up, Wesley. You can not sexualize them. It is not their responsibility to heal you. That’s your responsibility. He pleaded with himself, quickly walking through the aisle. “I need to go,” Wesley whispered as he headed to the self-check register. As he paid for his items, he changed the music in his headphones, hoping to drown out the overly sexualized thoughts that entered his mind. He grabbed his bagged items, thanked the employee standing next to the self-check registers, headed out of the grocery store, and continued down the street. As he continued down the street, Wesley reached into his jeans pocket, pulling out a small coin engraved with “Recovery happens one day at a time.” He looked down at it and returned it to his pocket. ***Note from the Author*** This story is an allegory of Porn addiction, yet it is not a true story. While i focused on the main character's realization of the escalation of porn on the human brain. The purpose of the story is summed up at the end; when the main character begins to realize that their perception of reality is being tainted by their porn consumption. I simply ask that, as the reader, you would have an open heart and open mind to the realities of this powerful addiction. If you, or someone you know is dealing with this particular addiction, please reach out and find help. As a friend of an addict, please be loving and compassionate as they heal and recover. Thank you. DISCLAIMER: The story you are about to read contains graphic violence and sexual situations. I pray that the reader would be able to look at the deeper meaning of the piece as it relates to Wrestling with Faith. Reader discretion is advised.
“Hey there, babe. Welcome to my Onlyfans page. My name is Valerie the Vixen, you will find the best content; everything from seductive nudes to cosplay of your favorite characters. I also love to play with myself and with my friends. Sometimes I even play with strangers. I promise you, baby, that this will be the best experience that you’ve had.” The room was dark, only illuminated by the computer screen. I sat in front of the computer, eyes glued to the images on the screen while I listened to the seductive voice through my headphones. Valerie was a voluptuous woman; her sandy brown hair hung delicately around her face; creating a cute frame. Valerie spoke to me, gently rubbing her full breasts, which rested in a green lace bra. As she squeezed the breasts, my attention was drawn to the sensual actions of this online goddess. I soon lost myself in her free content. I combed through her onlyfans.com content, and her other social media sites, collecting my favorite photos and videos; some of the content was fully nude, and others were only tantalizing enough to spark my interest. Her voice was often soft, yet passionate, and her body was warm and welcoming. After a long, hard day at work, I want to be at your service; How would you use me? Valerie the Vixen was pictured topless; her breasts firm and perky. She stood at the front door as if she were greeting her male visitor at the door. She was dressed in a pair of purple panties and black heels. I closed my eyes at the sight, envisioning that greeting in person. I imagined feeling her gentle fingertips caressing my chest and stomach. I could feel her fingernails gently impacting the skin beneath my shirt. I looked down and noticed that her nails were well-groomed and matched her purple panties. She always paid attention to the little details. “Come on, let’s get you undressed,” She whispered. Her light breath sent shivers down my spine as she led me into the house. I ran my hands up her arms and up to her exposed breasts. She liked a firm hand on her breasts. I could tell that she was becoming more excited. She knew I was as well. *** I opened my eyes, my webpage was resting on the same photo. I lifted my hand from beneath my pants and continued to scroll through the page, seeing more enticing pictures and videos. I stopped on a short video clip of Valerie wearing a comfortable summer dress. With a slow, gentle motion, Valerie lifted the dressing, clearly showing her panties. She grabbed the waist of her panties and began to lower the garment, revealing a cleanly shaven vagina. “Do you want a taste?” She asked, touching a fingertip to her vagina. I wanted to taste it. I wanted to taste it so badly, my mouth was watering. I could even imagine engaging in the sexual act myself. I wanted more. I wanted to experience everything that Valerie the Vixen had to offer. I want to feel her soft skin against my own as we embraced in bed or even on the couch; her soft lips lightly kissing my neck and chest. I decided to create a profile and subscribe to her onlyfans.com page. When I subscribed, a notification popped up at the side of the screen, under the messages tab. “Hey there, babe. Welcome to my Onlyfans page. My name is Valerie the Vixen, Here you will find the best content,” She began laying in bed in a green lace bra and panty set. “I want to hear from you, baby. Send me a message if you are looking for something special.” She added with a smile. Hey. I messaged her, scared and unsure if she would respond. I could feel my heart pounding beneath my chest, fear took my breath away. I had never done this before; my mind roamed through every possible scenario; could my information be stolen from the website? Will my attempt to chat with Valerie be screenshot and exposed to my loved ones? Will our chat be seen as cheating? Is this illegal? Bling. I heard the notification tone in my headphones; bringing me back to the reality of the chat with Valerie. The chat remained open on my computer screen. The bright red notification stuck out on the screen before me. Hey, baby. How are you? How did you find me? She responded. I looked at the words on the screen, actually scared to respond. Hey, I found your page through your social media. I nervously typed back, awaiting a response. A moment later, I could track the small bouncing bubbles that danced at the bottom of the screen when the other person was typing out their response. That’s great! Do you wanna have some fun? She typed. Yes, I responded, my heart bounding more than ever. Ooh, baby, What would you like to do? Her words sparked a part of my imagination that I never focused on before. I was intrigued and excited by the direction of the chat. Do you want to see me naked? Yeah. I responded, unaware of the answer I would receive. Before I knew it, a new box popped into the open chat. The box was blurred to distort the image and a paywall prevented me from accessing the exclusive material. It was priced at $15. At the bottom of the paywall, it indicated that the folder consisted of a minute-long video and a series of 10 photos. Let’s have some fun, baby. Please tip to open the folder. I want to show you what I want to do to you, baby. I didn’t know what to do. I focused my attention on the available link. Do I want to pay for the photos? Will this simple click of the mousepad be the catalyst for my fantasies? Are you naked in these photos, babe? I typed. Of course, I want to get you hard. Open it, babe. I clicked on the available link and approved the purchase. The blurred images were crystal clear; I had access to the full folder. Valerie posed in the photos; beginning in her bed, clothed in a powder blue lingerie set. As I clicked through the pictures, her position on the bed changed, and the number of clothes that she wore decreased until she was completely nude, seductively staring down the barrel of the camera, right into my eyes. At the end of the photo selection, I watched the video accompanying the pictures; she lay in bed and touched herself. She moaned. I watched the video clip multiple times. Each time I became more turned on and excited. Without realizing it, I was sitting naked in my chair, my pajama pants punched up at my feet. Do you like what you see, baby? She typed. Are you hard for me? I am so hard, baby. Do you wanna see it? I asked, my excitement heightened. Yes, baby. Show it to me. She typed. I was taken aback. Yet, my excitement got the better of me. I took a photo and shared it with Valerie. *** I woke in my bed to the sunlight peaking through the slits in my blinds, my energy diminished and weak my eyes were heavy. I felt exhausted. I reached for my phone, lying on my side table. I opened it instantly seeing Valerie’s Onlyfans page on my phone’s web browser. Sitting on the edge of my bed, I scrolled through the open chat. I saw the various photos that I shared as well as the various photo bundles that I purchased. Shame. It showered over me. Fear. It washed through my mind and coursed through my veins. It had been nearly a week since I subscribed to Valerie the Vixen’s page. Every night I found myself chatting with Valerie. We were sharing inappropriate pictures, and I was purchasing bundle after bundle. I was never satisfied, I wanted more every time. “I need to quit,” I told myself, looking at the purchase history over the last week; nearly $400 total. My eyes dropped in shame as I allowed my photo to slip through my fingers onto the floor. I pressed my palms to my eyes, rubbing them intensively. “How can I quit this?” ***Note from the Author*** This story is an allegory of Porn addiction, yet it is not a true story. While i focused on the main character's brain receiving positive dopamine when consuming porn, the purpose of the story is summed up at the end; when the main character's beginning to feel the negative impact of the addiction over time. I simply ask that, as the reader, you would have an open heart and open mind to the realities of this powerful addiction. If you, or someone you know is dealing with this particular addiction, please reach out and find help. As a friend of an addict, please be loving and compassionate as they heal and recover. Thank you. |
Anthony K. GiesickI grew up loving stories and quickly found myself loving writing poetry, stories, songs! Here is a sample of what Wrestling With Faith Writings is all about!. Categories |
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