Conversations with Myself

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Dear Anthony,
 
I know that you’ve been feeling alone. I know that you’ve been feeling lost. It seems that the minute you’re in your bedroom, the minute that the door closes behind you, you feel a wave of loneliness that grips at your heart. It hurts, trust me, I feel it too.
 
I know that you are trying to find solace and you hope to find joy. I know that it seems that you may never find it. The only comfort you get is when you hold her in your arms, when you see the smile that you love and adore. Every minute you spend with the one that you love, the pain in your chest eases. As a matter of fact, you actually feel loved. Yet, those times don’t last. You hold her, you hug her, you kiss her and then you say your goodbyes; leaving you alone once again.
 
You see, I know you. I know that you don’t blame her for your loneliness. In fact, you don’t blame anybody except yourself. You know exactly why you’re lonely: You’re unhappy. I know that you’re unhappy with the career path that you’re in, even though I can see that you enjoy the quiet time that the job offers. You enjoy the time that the job allows you to listen to various podcasts and music. The fact is that you’re unhappy with the large step back you had to take in economic status.
 
When you look at the man in the mirror you see a man that failed at his first career path, although you truly tired time and time again. You see a man that wishes to be in a different stage of life, just like the friends that you have. They’re married with a house and kids.
 
In your moments of quietness, your heart is cocooned in a thick layer of pain and loneliness. All too often you find yourself reminiscing of your life, trying to list the pros and cons; she is a definitely the biggest pro on your list. You know that you love her.
 
The truth is: she loves you too. I know, I can tell. She understands you. She understands your dreams; the reason you are writing. Every single day she encourages you to keep writing, to pursue that dream. She believes in you. Every word that you write; every single word that is published on your website, she reads.
 
To be completely honest with myself, I truly believe that she even understands why you write; the true reason behind it. Truthfully, you write because without the power of words you would have nothing to express yourself to the world. These words help to heal you and help you understand the world around you, regardless of how hopeless you may feel at times.    
 
Believe me, hope it coming. The loneliness will not last forever.
 
I know that it may seem as if you’re never going to get out of this rut, but I know that you will. The LORD has a plan for you. Yes, it is true that you have had your ups and downs, but God has not abandoned you, He is with you. I can tell you that your trials and tribulations will actually be the very things that strengthen you. Your trials and tribulations will soon become your own personal ministry.
 
God will use these times you are facing to build your faith, allowing you to place all of your trust in His hands. These new strengths will allow you to lead her through the trials and tribulations that will come in the future.
 
In these current times of loneliness, I ask you to rely on God. When you feel lonely, or weak, please pray for strength. Please pray that the Holy Spirit will speak to you and fill your heart with contentment in this current situation.
 
The truth is; you are you not alone. There are people all around you that love you and want to ensure your happiness. These very people are here to help you to be your strength and to be your company.
 
As for your writing; keep writing. She believes in your ability and God has perfectly organized your story to benefit others. Tell your story. Allow the words that you are inspired to write to heal you, and in turn allow them to heal others.  
 
Keep your head up and trust in God’s timing.
                                                                                                Sincerely,
                                                                                                            Yourself